By Darla Butterfield May 1, 2024
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
Motherhood is hard. I think we can all agree on that. There are days when we feel like we are rocking it and our kids are napping well, conquering potty training, doing awesome in school, or scoring goals on the soccer field. But there’s those other days…the days when we feel weak. The days when we wonder what in the world God was thinking when He chose me to mother these kids because I have no idea what I’m doing. The days we mess up, we wish we could go back in time and respond differently to our child or make a better decision before something bad happens. It’s in those days when we clearly see our need for God. We know we can’t do this whole motherhood thing on our own and we not only need each other, we need God’s grace and strength that only He can provide.
I had one of those bad days last October. Like one of those REALLY BAD days that will forever be seared into my memory. My youngest, Levi, was four-years-old and I could hear him making happy noises and playing in his room like he often does when he first wakes up. My other three children were eating breakfast, and it was a very normal Monday morning…until Levi comes running in the house through the front door, blood dripping down his face, declaring “Mommy, I fell out my window! I’m fine! I’m fine!”
I was standing right outside his bedroom door, trying to process what had just happened as well as praying I would not faint as I have before at the sight of blood. I was glad he was talking and walking around, but I knew while his bedroom was on the first floor of our house, we live on a hill, so it was more than a one-story fall. I called my husband, gathered my kids, and I met my husband part-way so he could take Levi to get checked out while I got the rest of my kids to school and then I met him at the hospital.
All the things were running through my head, as you can imagine. How bad is he hurt? Will he be ok? How did this happen? I’m not a good mom. This is my fault. I should have baby proofed his window. How did I not protect my boy?
At the same time as all those things were going through my mind, I also heard another voice…the voice of my Heavenly Father, reminding me of the Truth from His Word…”my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
If ever there was a time that I felt weak and powerless, it was that day. As I held my little boys’ hand while they transferred him to the ambulance to be transported to the children’s hospital, I prayed over him and reminded Levi of Joshua 1:9, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid…the Lord is with you!”
My little Levi spent two nights at the children’s hospital for monitoring and sustained a concussion, facial fractures, and a liver laceration. Thankfully, He didn’t need any treatment for his injuries, and he’s completely healed now, not even traumatized from it! He later informed us that he climbed on a chair, opened his window, and accidentally pushed out the screen and fell while trying to get a better view of the neighbor’s Halloween decorations (which he referred to as their amazing Christmas lights).
In the days following his fall, I wrestled with my emotions as a mom, and prayed for God to use this moment of parenting failure for His Glory. I knew that God was sovereign. Even in my error of lack of babyproofing, He could have prevented Levi’s fall. It also could have been worse. God allowed it for a reason.
God has blessed me with glimpses of Him working through Levi’s fall. It changed how I pray for others in crisis when I see or hear an ambulance and I’m reminded of holding my little boy’s hand as he was on that stretcher. I see how my other children cared and prayed for their brother and watched God bring him back home and heal. Even many months later, Levi was learning about how Jesus died on the cross and rose again and in his young mind he remembered his fall and being bloody. He saw how Jesus was bloody on the cross and didn’t stay dead. He rose back to life! While Levi didn’t come back to life like Jesus did, I can see how God was working in his heart, using that painful day as a way for Levi to connect to the story of Jesus’ ultimate sacrifice for us. Even in the past week, Levi’s preschool teacher has commented how empathetic he is towards others, especially when they get hurt.
Motherhood is ridiculously hard. We may judge ourselves and our actions and fear that we are horribly messing up our kids. But God’s grace is sufficient. His power is made perfect in our weakness. As you go about your day, ask God to reveal how He is at work, even when you make mistakes as a mom.
Whatever season of motherhood you are in, know that God sees you. He knows the joy in your heart as you snuggle your little one, but He also sees the tears you cry when no one else is looking. Be encouraged, dear one, you’re not in this alone. God is with you! Lean on His grace!
…and remember to babyproof your windows, even the ones on your first floor, especially if you live on a hill!
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